I can't believe I'm actually doing this. The idea materialized in my head so fast that I really still don't think I'm acutally going to put this online. I can rationalize this (and feel less uneasy) just by thinking that no one will read it. That makes me feel better.
It's raining. It's been a shitty day since I woke up this morning. Hazy, humid and very gray. It's one of those days you wish you could just sleep through. That didn't (obviously) happen today. I haven't started my new job yet (although I'm half-excited, half-nervous about that) so I woke up when I heard Nirvana pounding seeping into my room. I think it was my brother, who is moving out today -- going back to school (Michigan State). I had hoped it would go away, but to my disappointment, it didn't. So I have a dead guy and his now defunct band to thank for waking me up early. And of course, my brother. But let's not talk about him right now.
My life is in a huge transitional phase right now. Just graduated from college, moved back home due to having absolutely no money, starting a new job next week. I interviewed last Friday and it went well -- I felt pretty confident that they'd offer me a job. And they did. So now I have to go in to fill out some paperwork tomorrow, then take a drug test within 24 hours of that. I'm not worried about the drug test -- I have nothing to worry about. Another part of this transitional thing is that I just broke up with my boyfriend, who I had been dating for almost a year. It was something that had to be done, since he is not here, but in another country right now. And he could be there for 2 more years. So now is my time...I need to do things for me...and try to forget about him. That's what he wants. Not what I do. I love him and have been trying to deal with the fact that I might not ever see him again. Trying to deal with the fact that I'm now single. I told my best friend, Melanie, today that I have a feeling I'll be entering a "rebellious" phase in my life. Any phase would be better than what I have now. The only shitty thing is that all of my female friends are currently in relationships, so going hunting for guys with them is sort of out of the question.
We'll see what happens.
