My
Profile
That
was
humor.
To
be
honest
I
must
say
that
I
never
expect
anyone
to
come
here.
This
particular
page
exists
to
satisfy
my
own
sense
of
humor.
Let's
start
at
the
beginning.
I'm
a
robust,
6'
tall
man
with
No.
Let
me
start
over.
I'm
a
curvaceous
blonde
woman
with
huge
heh.
I
suppose
I
just
can't
get
it
right.
If
people
really
want
to
find
out
about
me
and
these
pages
are
not
enough,
they
may
write
me
and
I
guarantee
(or
ga-ron-teee)
a
response.
If
I
get
a
number
of
requests,
I
may
change
my
mind
and
post
details
about
me,
this
being
SouthBeach
where
such
foolishness
is
appropriate.
This,
of
course,
is
a
safe
statement
because
Jane
Websurfer
never
writes,
for
fear
of
losing
anonymity.
What
silly
Jane
does
not
know
is
that
she
never
had
anonymity,
only
the
illusion
thereof.
Each
request
for
a
page,
file,
or
image
on
ANY
server
gets
a
log
entry
in
the
access
logs
on
the
server.
The
information
therein
varies
from
host
to
host
and
from
server
program
to
server
program,
but
the
Apache
"combined"
logs
--which
are
also
called
common
combined
logs
(because
they
are
so
common)
frequently
contain
the
following:
- your
ISP
- your
user
ID
- what
file/page/image
you
requested
- what
file/page/image
sent
you
there
- the
time
of
the
request
- whether
or
not
you
viewed
that
file/page/image
- cookie
information
- a
bunch
of
other
junk
like
the
size
of
the
file/page/image
Most
ethical
hosts
opt
not
to
track
the
user
ID,
so
it
becomes
a
blank
field
in
their
logs.
GeoCities
seems
like
an
ethical
host
to
me,
so
they
probably
do
not
track
user
IDs,
but
to
be
sure
you
should
ask.
They
will
probably
tell
you.
Do
you
suddenly
feel
naked?
Does
this
bother
you
that
someone
knows
about
every
file/page/image
you
have
viewed
or
tried
to
view?
It
should.
Be
more
careful
next
time.
You
don't
know
who
is
looking
at
those
logs.
After
all,
if
I
really
knew
what
I
was
doing
I
could
read
the
logs
from
GeoCities,
which
would
lead
me
to
your
ISP,
read
their
logs,
which
would
lead
me
to
you,
and
send
you
a
"thank
you
for
visiting
my
page
so
now
I
will
send
you
spam
for
the
rest
of
your
life"
message.
Do
you
get
spam?
Have
you
ever
wondered
where
it
comes
from?
Now
you
know.
The
other
place
spammers
get
your
address
is
from
your
web
page
or
by
sending
innocuous,
automated
queries
to
your
ISP's
sendmail
port
or
its
database.
Back
to
my
profile.
I
am
not
giving
personal
information
unless
people
really
want
it.
For
the
most
part
I
regard
it
as
just
that:
personal.
This
means
that
I
have
no
desire
to
post
it
(obviously)
unless
I
see
a
huge
demand
(which,
I
have
said
is
fairly
unlikely
for
the
aformentioned
reason).
Besides,
I've
given
quite
a
bit
of
information
(depending
on
how
perceptive
you
are)
already,
especially
on
my
stupid
blather
page.
Seriously,
who
would
want
to
read
about
me?
I'm
quite
boring.
I
should
add
that
I'm
not
sixteen.
In
fact,
I'm
not
a
teenager
at
all.
Judging
by
the
number
of
teenagers
(all
two)
who
have
written
me,
I
feel
obliged
to
point
this
out
so
that
my
adolescent
attitudes
don't
mislead
anyone
into
thinking
I'm
worth
talking
to
when
clearly
I'm
not.
Without
handing
out
my
date
of
birth,
I'll
consider
it
sufficient
to
say
that
I've
not
been
a
teenager
for
some
time
and
I'm
old
enough
for
Uncle
Sam
to
let
me
drink
in
bars.
I'm
not,
however,
old
enough
to
be
President.
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