GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e , I n c o r p o r a t e d Presents: __ __ 666 333333333 _____ ____ _| |__| |_ 666 33 333 // | \ |_ __ _| 666 333 || ____ | || | | | | | 6666666666 333 || || \ / | || | _| |__| |_ 6666 6666 333 \\___// \/\/ |____/ |_ __ _| 666 666 333 |__| |__| 6666 6666 33 333 666666666 333333333 "Untitled?" by Lobo Licious ----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime ***** Issue #63 ----- ----- release date: 11-26-98 ------ Once, I fell and broke my wrist while rollerblading. I bet I looked like the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, all wiggly and shit before I fell. Which reminds me: I'm an engineering major. We rock. Math and science rule, man. Once, in my trig class, I hit my head on the desk. It fucking hurt. Zach laughed. He and I became friends the next year in calculus. We played chess sometimes. My dad taught me to play chess when I was five years old. I still suck. We also played this dot game. I have an aunt named "Dot." She's cool. Once, a mall Santa Claus called her "big-un," or so she thought (he was actually talking to this little kid who was nearby...my aunt glared at him, and he said it again, making sure to point out that the kid was who he was talking to). Her husband's name is "Bob." He used to be a Drill Instructor in the Marine Corps. He made some guy stay on his knees for two hours once. I want someone to get on their knees. When you pray, you get on your knees. Genuflect, I believe it's called. I don't remember the last time I prayed and meant it. I went to church on Easter. I also went to the Easter Bash. I drank. I like alcohol. I've only driven drunk once. I used to date a girl who's mother was killed by a drunk driver. They need to burn in hell. Even though I don't believe in it. I like my car. I miss my old one, though. It had character. I have character, but I don't have a spine. Or at least I have no backbone. This girl I used to work with broke a vertebra when she jumped out of a two story building because she was running from the cops. I miss that job, even though I technically still have it. It's a vortex, man. YOU CAN'T GET OUT. It's like a bad relationship, or a left-exit-having highway in a big city, like Dallas. I have friends in Dallas. I miss them. Zen's really tall. Taller than lots of pro-basketball players. I wish I could play b-ball worth a shit. Everyone shits. Snotty pointed that out to me. Snotty's my pal. She's not coming home this summer. Not for very long, anyway. I'll have to go to Houston to see her. I knew this guy who called Houston the world's largest suburb. I used to live in a suburb. We ate at "Noble Roman's Pizza" all the time. It's good, but it doesn't begin to compare to "One Guy From Italy." The suburb was called Manchester. There was this kid that lived in the apartment upstairs from us. He didn't seem to know his own name. His mother called him something different than what his father called him. He was younger than me. I was in third grade. I think his parents beat him. When Bruno and I bought our Philmont belts, we jokingly told the people at the store that they were "good for child-beating." They believed us, and they were scared. I felt sorry for that kid. Bruno, Bill Hooper, and I are supposed to eat lunch at "One Guy's" tomorrow. I invited my girlfriend too, but I don't know if she will show up - I left a message on her answering machine about it, but she may not get it in time. Besides, who would want to hang around a bunch of geeks like us? I like answering machines. Mine is some program that came with my computer. My old one had stickers all over it. So does the case for my bass. Bob the Master of the World had better still have that bass, or I will kill him, Spaniard that he is. I've known him for six or seven years, and he's never had a haircut besides a buzz. I usually only drink until I have a buzz. I have what Zippy liked to call "big hair." I've never figured out what that means, though. Kind of like how I don't understand the complexities of the research my dad does or the reason that anyone really likes "the Cure." Bob tMotW and I argue about music all the time, but we agree that "the Cure" is pretty crappy. Zippy used to listen to off-beat music, like "Ed Hall" and "Superchunk." He probably still does. He got married last weekend. Ratt Fink, Diamondback, m0m, Zach D., Sugar, Rasputin, and I sat together at the reception. It was a geekfest. Hopefully, GwadFest98 will be MORE THAN a geekfest, not that geekfests are less-than-cool or anything like that. The old-school GwD monthly gatherings were naught but geekfests. At one of them, STM shot Sir Flea with a BB gun. Another time, BtMotW spent the whole night running from fastjack, who wanted to kill him. fj still wants to kill him, and that shit went down 4 years ago or more. I've never killed anyone. My boss claims that he has, and I'm not sure if he's lying or not. He's one of those guys that's always cynical and sarcastic and you can never tell if he's joking or lying or not. I didn't find out until after we broke up, but my ex-girlfriend lied to me, and fairly often, I would guess. I took her to my senior prom. We ate at "Gabriel's," which is where the girl I'm dating now worked until Sunday when the owner decided to close the place without telling anyone beforehand. That's kinda shitty. I mean, it's not burn-your-house-down, kill-your-dog, sleep-with-your-wife shitty, but it's pretty shitty nonetheless. I'm glad I don't work at a restaurant. Cleaning up other people's messes sucks ass. One time, some customer shat all over the wall in one of the stalls of the women's restroom where I work. I had never been so glad that I was a male in my life. A dr00gan female who also happened to work there (and who shall remain nameless to avoid undue embarrassment to her) had to clean it up. Personally, I wouldn't have done it - I would have walked then and there, if they'd asked me to clean it up. I like walking. It's good for the soul, if you believe in that sort of thing. I don't know what I believe in anymore, not that I'm sure I ever really did. I believe in friends. I believe in love. I believe in hate. I believe in being all you can be. But I'm not going to join the army. It's just not my cup of tea. Tea sure is good, though. Earl grey, like Captain Picard drank. Or even "Lipton Brisk Iced Tea." Y'know, the one with those claymation commercials? Claymation is cool. Whatever happened to the "California Raisins?" Those raisins brought about my first hearing of Marvin Gaye. Simply put, the man was a genius. Like Beethoven. Or Mozart. Or Lennon. Or Marley. Or Dali. Or Van Gogh. When I went to France, I saw this really cool Dali exhibit with a bunch of statues and stuff. I didn't see any of his art, but I saw the sanitorium where Van Gogh cut off his ear and the cafe from his painting "Cafe a Nuit." It was an expensive cafe, so we didn't eat there. I'm cheap. I tell my girlfriend that all the time, and she makes fun of me for it. I suppose I deserve it. But hey, it's not my fault I get things for free when I'm around her. Right? I like free stuff. 99% or so of the time, free stuff is better than stuff you have to pay for. Basically, free stuff is where it's at. Kind of like the Honors Frat, despite it's officership. And membership. And any other -ship you can think of. If I wanted to be in a service organization, I'd be in APO. I was a Boy Scout, after all. So was Bruno. We used to sing in French on camping trips to scare everyone else so they wouldn't butt-rape us. Or something like that. Wait, no child molestation ever happened in our scout troop (that we know of). After they made us watch that video about how molestation was bad, Bruno and I *did* chase these little kids around asking them if they wanted to wrestle because the older-boy/molester in the video liked to wrestle naked with his victims. We were joking though. The Ol' Dirty Croat may be a lot of things (like old and dirty), but he sure as hell isn't a pedophile. And neither am I, despite what you may have heard. We had some fun times in Scouts. Arlo and I used to be on an OA Ceremonies Team together. Rory was on the other team. What's the OA? I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Simply put, the OA has used the "WWW" abbreviation since long before it was chic to use it (though the OA's "WWW" stands for something completely different from everyone else's). Not that the common man's "WWW" is a bad thing. I mean, hey, free porn. We all know that's what the Internet is for. So quit reading this lame-ass text file and go download some porn. NOW. What was the point of this? I don't know. If you don't like it, that's just too fucking bad. Leave me alone. ----------------------------------------------------------- GwDweb: http://www.GREENY.org/ http://gwd.snakeden.org/ GwD Publications: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/ ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/ ftp://gwd.snakeden.org/gwd/ ftp://ftp.dto.net/pub/dto/zines/gwd/ ftp://ftp.etext.org/pub/Zines/Greeny/ GwD BBSes: C.H.A.O.S. - http://chaos.GREENY.org/ http://solice.iglobal.net/chaos/ The Snake's Den - http://www.snakeden.org/ telnet://bbs.snakeden.org dial-in: (806)793-3779 E-Mail: gwd@GREENY.org * GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490 * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This son of a bitch here is not only a player, he's a definite bad influence and is capable of inciting many riots, your honor. He's a goddamn revolutionary." - The Lawyer-guy in the court skit-thing on Wyclef Jean's album (_The Carnival_) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -+- F Y M -+- GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of ABSOLUTE CRAP! /---------------\ copyright (c) MCMXCVIII Lobo Licious/GwD Publications :FIGHT THE POWER: copyright (c) MCMXCVIII GwD, Inc. : GwD : All rights reserved \---------------/ GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD63