MONEY INCORPORATED DIGEST #41 RELEASED 24 APRIL 1995 Pilfered By Sonic Fury MONEY INCORPORATED ARE: SLEEPY SONIC FURY CCRIDER THE BIG CHEESE ORGASMIC ANOMALY SEXECUTIONER This Week's Musikal Guest: UR MOM HUMMIN SOLO ON MY WOODY So, you say you wanna be a k-rad d-gr00vy 3l33t3 con artist too. Well look no farther my friends, for in this issue of MYC digest I'll cover a few simple cons you too can pull off right from your own home. In most cases, with a little luck and a lot of acting, you'll find yourself raking in a few extra dollars, even getting shit for free. I'm just gonna cover the basics, and leave the rest up to your imagination and level of skill (some may require a drop site/po box, in which case you must provide your own fake id). Enjoy! Oh, before we begin, one word of caution that should be passed from generation to generation, and which was passed on to me when I was a wee-little con artist slamming blue box tones on my C64. Even though scamming hard working Joes and Janes out of the money they work for and deserve sounds like an excellent way of making a living, it is a crime, and if you get caught, you will burn. Even if you wander through life scamming and scheming without any interference from the law, most of the best con men end up lonely and broke, spinning out their life story to other drunks in some God awful roach infested hotel (if you need an example, look at your friends). Even if you strike it big and live out the rest of your life wasting money like it were toilet paper, living in some secluded island under any number of alias', having every earthly desire at your finger tips, you will still, of course, die and burn in the eternal fire of hell. Sounds cool, eh? Now you have something to shoot for... SCAM #1: The Business Front What you need to do is find a nice little part time job at a firm that uses initials, like "JFC Associates" or something. What you're looking for here are checks made out to an easily forgable association. A really good example is Sprint (you know, the long distance company). When people pay the bills to Sprint, they write the check out to "Sprint" or, as stated earlier in the JFC example, they may just write the checks out to JFC, instead of the companies full name. Now for the hard part: find a small bank in a rural area, get a good fake ID, and if you really want to make it look good, counterfeit a business license on your laser printer (dumpster dive for tax ids, ect..). March into the bank and open up an account for your new in-home business, "Sprint Auto Repair." Have the account set so you can accept checks made out to "Your Name" (uhh, the one on the fake id), "Sprint Auto Repair", "SAR", and last, but not least, "Sprint". Go to work, go into the billing office either after hours, or during lunch when nobody's around, and steal all the checks. Take them to the bank, deposit them, withdraw the money, go buy a clean passport, and get the fuck out of the country. This obviously is a scam with a big return potential, and should only be carried out in measures of extreme desperation, as you probably will not be able to get back into the country, especially if you embezzle a couple million from a company like Sprint. This kid I went to school with had a grandmother who did this to a church. She tried to run to Arizona, but alas, it wasn't quite far enough, it only took them a week to find her. So, if you're gonna do it, make sure you do it right. SCAM #2 - Free Lunch Slipping shards of glass, needles, hair, rubbers, dead flies, ect into your food at restaurants is an old trick, but it works. Act pissed and with virtually no social engineering, they will kiss your ass and give you free food. Restaurant owners know that anything can fall into the food and in most cases will not accuse you of lying. A word of advice: spike the entree, not the desert. If you sit down and eat a big expensive meal and then something turns up in your ice cream, it looks suspicious and most people will question the validity of your claim. Even so, the customer is always right, and the threat of a lawsuit always adds a nice touch. It's wise to reserve a table under "Dr." or another proffessional title, as this greatly enhances the way you're treated at the restaurant. If they are still being picky about refunding your meal, it helps to start trouble. Go from table to table warning all the patrons, and sooner or later they'll give you food and money to shut you up. SCAM #3 - Fly Like A King Say you need to book a flight, but like most people, don't want to spend all you're hard scammed cash on a first class ticket. No problem. Just buy an economy class ticket. Wear a nice, expensive suit, nice shoes, and a nice watch. Board the plane as late as possible, try to avoid the stuardess guiding people to their seats. Look weary (maybe smoke a bowl before you get on the plane), don't shave for a day or two, loosen your tie, and run onto the plane. Grab an empty seat in first class and crash, act exhausted. Seven out of ten times, the stuardess will not bother you, and you shouldn't have to show her your ticket. If you do, give it to her anyway. When she points out the fact that you should be seated in the economy section, not first class, act confused and upset (shouldn't be hard to do if you're high). Say something like, "That fucking bitch, I TOLD her first class, the fucking moron better not have charged me first class. Jesus Christ, can't anybody do anything right?" Continue mumbling under your breath as you apologize to the stuardess and make your way back to the economy section. As long as you maintain a "I'm the one paying your fucking paycheck" attitude, the stuardess might even apologize for the inconveience and let you keep your first class seat. Here's another nice little trick to do at airlines. Say you have a 4 o'clock economy class flight. No problem. Get to the airport early, say around noon. Get in line and buy a first class ticket for any late flight. Most first class departure lounges serve free food and drink all day. Take your newly aquired ticket and go pig out. Get really trashed on all the free alcohol, then when you've had enough, go refund your ticket and catch your economy class flight out of town. Say something like, "My RN just paged me, I don't know when I'll be able to leave town." You shouldn't have any problems refunding a ticket, especially if it's a 10pm flight and it's only 3 in the afternoon. SCAM #4 - Rave Til Dawn Get a PO BOX and advertise a huge illegal rave in a small town somewhere. Advertise nationwide, like in usenet news groups. Sell as many tickets as possible. Guarantee big name DJs and lots of X. Then call the cops and tip them off as to the event (hold it in a field or an empty warehouse). Let them know that hundreds of people will attend, even fax them directions. More than likely roadblocks will be set up and people will be turned away. If not, oh well, a bunch of ravers show up to an empty field. Then post a follow up message saying that the rave was busted and the police are holding the names and address' of everybody who purchased tickets to the event (which of course, is a big lie). Most people will be too scared to ask for their money back. SCAM #5 - Vending Machines I'm not going to cover much in regards to vending machines hear. Read through back issues of MYC digest for more in depth information on scamming these beasts. I do have one comment, however. Someone said you can get free games out of video game machines by prodding the coin slot with one of those sparking wands you use to light gas stoves. I'm not sure how well this works, but it would be interesting to see what other effects these devices have on other change machines. Any volunteers?? SCAM #6 - Money 4 Sex Post some ads advertising various adult toys, such as VIBRATING BUTT PLUGS for only $10, and 12" VIBRATING DILDO WITH VARIOUS ATTATCHMENTS for only $30!! When people start ordering them, send back letters stating that their merchandise was out of stock, and a refund is included. Send a check along, but print accross the top or in the memo area in bright fluorescent letters "VIBRATING BUTT PLUG" or "12" VIBRATING DOUBLE ENDED DILDO". Most people will eat the money, rather than go to the bank and cash a check in their name with VIBRATING BUTT PLUG written on it. SCAM #7 - Make Money Off Of Dead People Scan the obituraries in your local paper. Get a list of names together and make up a company letter. Send three letters to the dead person over a period of about a week requesting payment for a service received a couple months ago (b4 they died). Then start sending letters stating that they have three more weeks to pay the money owed, or their name will be turned over to the credit agency in their town. More than likely, the descendants will pay the amount owed, but make sure it's small ($20 or $30) so that the party doesn't get too suspicious and make enquiries into the debt. SCAM #8 - Win The Lottery! Start letting everybody know that you devised a computer program that generates winning lottery numbers. Go around and collect a minimum of $5 from each of the people who want to be on your winners list. Every Friday, generate a bunch of numbers and give a copy of this list to everybody who paid, along with the percentage of the overall winnings they will receive. Don't play any numbers, just pocket the money. The few $10 "wins" you'll have to pay out won't put much of a dent in your profit, and it will keep people hooked for a while. When people get tired of it, just drop it, and you're clear. That's it for this issue of MYC digest. Use your imagination, there are a lot of varitions on these scams which can be performed. Come up with some original variations, and make yourself some money. Happy hunting.. l8r... - Sonic Fury Remember to ftp to: ftp.paranoia.com /pub/zines/money for back issues of MYC Digest. MYC can be reached via email at an202526@anon.penet.fi COPYWRONG 1995 MONEY INC