Having Fun in Your Small Town

                                    By:MassExodus


If asked most teens would say that they hate the town they live in, and this is 
most true in small citys\towns... Now im not only talking about cow towns but
those with like 20,000 people or so. Being so small these places seem to attract
nothing but boredem and, well more boredem, but what most people don't relize is that 
unless you brag about your mischief it Would be very easy to get away with a lot of stuff.

Most likley you don't have a crack team of forensic experts as law enforcement but rather; 
barely trained police officers who are there only for the money, the kind you can always see 
in the parking lot of the donut shop or your local mcdonalds(this may sound stereo-typical but 
take a drive around town at midnight or three in the morning if you need to see for yourself) so it's
not like you have to worry about the team of CSI tracking you down.


The Shit You Need:

1. As much super glue as you want to buy.
2. Unlined Paper
3. Candy bar (with nuts) 
4. Sliced bologna
5. Shitload of Misc Paper



What To Do:

1. Put that superglue to good use by glueing everything that you can think of, 
Try to be creative ex: Glue a selection button on a vending machine down so 
the moron who next buys a soda has to have Diet DR.Nasty instead of a coke.
or Try Supergluing those free aol dics to the top of someones car. the more the better!

2. Go to hospital and find a red cross pamphlet (they're all over) find a copy machine and make  several dozen of your own. use your unlined paper if you want to do it on you computer. Next take these to the closest kingdom hall and place under as many winsheilds as possible. Jehovas witnesses have a religious aversion to giving blood or transfusions.

2. (Jehovas witness version)Do same as above but but substitute with RC phamphlet with an advertisment for marilin manson's newest cd and sustitute KH with your local Curch.<P>

3.  Take a candy bar to your local swiming pool. Conceal the bar in your hand against your body as you get in. Do one of those in water dives and as you do leave the bar behind (put distance between yourself and the bar because you don't want to be known as the guy\girl; who shat in the pool that one time now do you?) wait for a couple minutes for the bar to float to the top and people to notice and watch all the sickened people flock from the pool in disgust. and remember the nuttier the bar the more real it looks when wet.

4. Sliced Bolnga isn't very usefull for other then two things: Making sandwiches, And
Discoloring the paint on a car!!! Be carefull not to be seen while doing this...But wait untill a really sunny day and take the SB to a parking lot with a lot of cars and sleather pieces on the all the cars on which the paint is not your favorite color. After an hour or two of baking in the sun the meat will leave a Very noticable Permenant Change in the paint color.
(suggestion:Try polka dots)

5. Either Spend Hours Riping of the newspaper manualy or find a freind with a 
Mulcher\Woodchipper and put the paper through (much more fun!) and Wait untill the net major rain storm approaches and just as the rain begins Throw as much of the shreaded papar all over somebodys lawn.(Try to Spread it out evenly) Once its Rained it will be near im possible to get it all out, but watching them try will provide you with hours upon hours of joy!( newspaper is great for this)